Darcy hadn’t been to a Halloween party since Jack disappeared. Come to think of it, she hadn’t decorated or done anything more than hand out the obligatory candy on Halloween night. Gone were the scary movie marathons and the big pot of chili and cornbread. She scrolled past cats and dogs in their Halloween finest on social media without comment.
“Disappeared.” Such a convenient word used by the detective assigned to the case. When the investigation went nowhere he added the words, “chose to” as in “chose to disappear.”
“Let’s face it Miss Russell. There are no signs of foul play. According to everyone we interviewed, Jack didn’t have an enemy in the world. We examined his medical records. He doesn’t have a history of depression or any health issues. No trust fund, no gambling debts, no alcohol, or drug abuse – nothing that might get him abducted or killed. Not even a parking ticket or citation for jaywalking.” Detective Cooper spoke with conviction. He believed Jack simply walked away from his life in Boston. Walked away from Darcy. “You lived together while you were in college and for three years after that, yet he never proposed. The two of you never discussed marriage. He couldn’t have been that serious about your relationship.”
Darcy bristled at his use of “Miss” instead of “Ms.,” but she let it slide. “We were happy. We love each other, and we don’t need a piece of paper to prove it.”
“No disrespect, but I hear that a lot when men go missing. We usually find them halfway across the country with a wife and a few kids. I think it’s time to face facts. Jack doesn’t want to be found, and he’s not coming back.” His tone was gentle, but firm. “You need to let it go. There’s nothing more we can do. I’ll keep your information on file. If anything turns up, we’ll reopen the investigation. We don’t have the manpower or resources to chase after someone who doesn’t want to be found.”
The days, weeks, and months of the next three years were like peddling a bike with a rusty chain, tedious, exhausting, and frustrating.
She didn’t find the note when she got home from work and collected the mail. It was buried inside the weekly grocery flyer. The woodsy scent of Jack’s cologne stopped her as she walked toward the recycling bin. She rifled through the pages and found it. A white paper with Jack’s precise printing. He only used cursive to sign his name.
Lisbeth,
Tyler’s waiting where we met.
Please come. I love you,
Jack
She stared at the note and his name in cursive.
What kind of cruel joke was someone playing?
It didn’t look or feel like a joke. There was an energy emanating from the paper that felt like Jack. It smelled like him. She rubbed her fingers over the page. Every letter perfectly spaced and even.
Darcy rushed to her desk, picked up the previously ignored invitation, and hastily ripped open the envelope. Three days. How would she survive until then?
***
Darcy and Jack met at a Halloween party her freshman year in college. Her English Lit professor, Dr. Pamela Loring, and her husband, Giles Bennett, a modestly successful playwright, hosted an annual Halloween bash for her students. If you came as a literary character, you received ten bonus points for her class. For some students, those points might be the difference between passing or failing, or propping their GPA up enough to keep a scholarship.
Kids from Dorchester or East Boston, like Darcy, had to get creative with their costumes. They couldn’t afford to rent fancy ones like the Back Bay and Beacon Hill crowd or the wealthy out of state students. The theatre kids were the lucky ones. The props manager usually let them borrow old costumes for the evening. From a distance they looked great. Up close you could see the wear and tear of years of use and breathe in the mixture of moth balls, dust, and Febreze.
After a visit to a local Thrift store, Darcy pulled together a convincing “Lisbeth Salander” from the Stieg Larsen book series. Her look was more Noomi Rapace from the Swedish film adaptations than Rooney Mara, but it suited her. Dr. Loring and her husband recognized her character at once, and that was all that really mattered.
She walked among the sexy versions of Nurse Ratched, the Romeos and Juliets, a couple of Hester Prynnes, Draculas, Frankensteins, a Quasimodo, and headless horsemen. She bumped into a perfect Tyler Durden with half an unlit cigarette hanging between his lips and fake blood trailing down his bare chest.
She looked into his eyes and murmured, “This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.”
He replied, “I’m going to kill you. Slowly. Painfully. You’re going to suffer and die.”
They both laughed. He called her Lisbeth, and she called him Tyler.
“I don’t remember seeing you in class or around campus.” Darcy was certain she would have noticed him even at a school with over 35,000 undergrads and graduate students.
“Well, I usually wear a shirt, and don’t have one of these things hanging from my mouth.” He removed the cigarette and stashed it in the front pocket of his jeans
For the rest of the evening they were inseparable. When the party ended, Darcy and Jack walked around campus basking in the beauty of the full moon. They ended up at his apartment where she stayed the entire weekend. Soon after, they moved in together.
Halloween was their favorite holiday. Every October they binge watched horror films and decorated their third floor walk-up. They never missed one of Dr. Loring’s Halloween parties. Jack was Dr. Loring’s nephew. Mystery solved about why he was there that night when he wasn’t one of her students.
Through the years they’d been Tony and Maria; Nick and Nora Charles, Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan; Tristan and Iseult; Catherine and Heathcliff, and even Wesley and Buttercup, but their favorite costumes were Lisbeth and Tyler, a couple who was never a couple.
Three years ago, Jack suggested they resurrect their Lisbeth and Tyler costumes once more before he aged out of going shirtless. They went to the Halloween party, and Jack disappeared. Darcy excused herself to go to the restroom and got stuck in a long line. When she came back, Jack was gone. The lights were low. She looked all around for a shirtless figure. Maybe he’d run into someone he knew, or he’d gone to the restroom. She checked the patio to see if he’d gone outside for some fresh air. Their car was where they parked it. She asked random strangers if they’d seen someone dressed as Tyler Durden. Some claimed to have seen him, but not recently. It wasn’t like Jack to leave her alone at a party for long. She began to get worried.
At midnight Dr. Loring alerted campus security who started searching the campus. The police refused to get involved for 48 hours.
***
On Halloween night, Darcy donned her Lisbeth costume and showed her invitation to the security guard on duty. Jack’s aunt and uncle had been pleased that she’d finally accepted another invitation.
Pamela hugged her warmly. “It’s so good to see you. You look wonderful. Jack always loved you in that costume.” Darcy noticed the warning look Giles gave his wife. “I’m sorry.” Pamela said. “I hope I didn’t upset you.”
“Not at all,” Darcy hoped her lie was convincing. She hadn’t told anyone about the note. Pamela and Giles didn’t know. Jack’s parents and siblings, her family, their friends, and even the police were unaware Jack had made contact. Darcy wasn’t sure why she hadn’t shown it to anyone or let the police know. Detective Cooper would probably assume she’d gone mad and written it to herself.
She picked up a bottle of water at the refreshment table and looked for a vantage point that would give her a good view of the entrance and exits. She scanned every inch of the room meticulously searching for a shirtless man. She saw a few, but no Tyler Durden this year.
She walked out onto the patio and looked up at the full moon. There was a full moon on the night they met.
This must be a sign.
The wind picked up. A cool blast of air sent everyone on he patio back inside, but she stayed. Darcy turned around and there he was . She ran into his arms repeating the first words she’d ever said to him. He was cold as ice. She backed away instinctively.
“What’s going on Jack? Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? How absolutely shitty my life has been since you left? Why are you so cold?” The questions rushed from her lips.
“I’m dead.” She gasped and looked at him with fury in her eyes.
“The hell you are! I can see you. I can hear you. I can touch you. You’re not a ghost!”
Jack closed his eyes, and she watched in horror as his body turned into ashes carried off by the wind. She screamed, but no sound came out. He reappeared. “I’m dead.”
“If you’re dead, take me with you. I don’t want to live without you.”
She tried to hug him, but he was so cold.
“It doesn’t work that way. I couldn’t take a life even if I wanted to.”
“Then tell me who did this to you and why, so I can tell the police.”
“While you were waiting in line, I came out here, and I heard a noise coming from over there.” He pointed to some trees near the parking lot. “I went to check it out, and I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see, a drug deal that went sour. A guy came up behind me and snapped my neck. It was so quick, I barely felt anything. I watched them put my body in the trunk and drive me to a crematorium. When I couldn’t feel the fire, I realized I was dead. I don’t know who they were. No body, no crime. Contrary to what we’re taught in Sunday School all is not revealed when we die.”
“How is this happening? Why haven’t you come to me before?” Darcy’s cheeks were wet with tears.
“Since I was killed on Halloween, that’s the only time I can come back in human form, and this is the only place. I was here last year and the year before, but you didn’t come.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Darcy reached for him. She was gradually adjusting to the cold. “How did you send me that note?”
“Oh, that. It’s kind of interesting. I willed you the note because my desire to communicate with you was so strong. Sorry, I couldn’t manage anything longer. I don’t even know if I could do it again. Like I said, all things aren’t revealed.”
“Kiss me,” she said.
Jack put his arms around her and kissed her tenderly. Their bodies transformed into ashes and swirled together dancing in the wind as their souls made love.
At midnight, Darcy opened her eyes, and she was standing alone on the patio fully aware of all that had transpired.
A cold wind encircled her like a hug, and she felt the sensation of lips gently touching her cheek. Then, it was gone. Jack was gone.
“I’ll see you next year, my love,” she whispered.