In the United States we use the word, “love” to describe how we feel about everything from foods, movies, books, clothing, TV shows, work, or school to celebrities, friends, family members, pets, and partners.
Norwegians differentiate between kinds of love. In Norwegian, you would say “Jeg elsker deg” (I love you) for deep romantic love. To describe love for friends, pets, or family members, Norwegians say “Jeg er glad I deg” meaning “I’m fond of you or I’m happy to have you.”
“Jeg liker deg” means I like you. “Du er mitt alt” means “you are my everything.” Elsker is love and making love is elskov. The noun form of love is kjaerlighet or kjaerleik.
Why is this important if you never intend to visit Norway or fall in love with a Norwegian?
It’s about clarity of language and intention. Knowing where you stand in a relationship. Are you more important to your partner than a hot fudge sundae or their favorite band? Are you stuck in the friend zone or is there romance in your future? These are good things to know. I appreciate the honesty of Norwegians.
In my youth, I was sometimes quick to say, “I love you” without stopping to clarify if I meant “I’m in love with you” or “I’m fond of you. I like hanging out with you.” Conversely, I mistook “love” for “being in love.” Being in love was something reserved for the lucky and the few. As an awkward teenager that kind of belonging was something I craved. I bruised my heart a few times over this misunderstanding.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to be in love. It’s also a time to spread love and unity around the world. Watch what you say because hearts are fragile.
What kind of love will you be expressing on February 14?
Agape is a profound, unconditional love, a willingness to sacrifice for others. In Biblical terms it means the self-giving intentional love God has for humanity which believers are called to show others. It is the highest form of love predicated on action not words.
Eros is romantic love based on desire and attraction.
Philia is intimate, brotherly, or friendship love.
Storge is family love. It’s how you feel about the members of your family regardless of whether they are your biological family or your chosen one.
Ludus is playful love. It may involve light-hearted flirtation or gentle teasing. It can also refer to the silly way we engage with children or pets.
Pragma is enduring love that stands the test of time. It’s consistent and thoughtful.
Philautia is self-love. You recognize your own worth, set boundaries, and care for your mental and physical well-being.
Mania is obsessive and all-consuming love. It’s possessive and often comes from insecurity or fear of losing someone close to you.